Signs of Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is being discussed more openly nowadays in light of a number of famous individuals who have sought treatment for it.  However, although the name may suggest that a person who suffers from this type of addiction specifically engages in compulsive sexual intercourse, a sex addiction is not limited to this; it can include any number of sex-related behaviors such as excessive masturbation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, viewing pornography, pedophilia, prostitution, and many others.  Because sex is a normal part of everyday life for most people, sex addictions, like eating disorders, can be particularly difficult to overcome without help.  Another complication is that sex is not only considered “acceptable” socially (as are drinking alcohol and gambling) but also, in some circles, a person’s (usually a man’s) sexual activity can enhance one’s reputation. These factors can make it difficult for loved ones to notice that someone has a problem with sexual behaviors until the negative consequences have already begun to affect the person’s life. To gauge whether someone in your life has a sex addiction, evaluate the signs that are described below. 

• Taking risks – Like other addicts, a sex addict’s top priority is fulfilling the need to engage in whatever act produces a positive dopaminergic response. They may consider the possible negative consequences but will disregard them.  This could mean having sex with unknown and/or multiple partners, not using birth control and/or a condom to decrease the risk of HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, and other contagious diseases, engaging in sexual behaviors in public or potentially public places (like one’s car or office), cheating on a spouse or partner, or soliciting and rendezvousing with strangers met via the internet, among others.
• Shame and/or depression – Sex addicts are usually not interested in developing relationships or even achieving orgasm; the sexual act may function as a coping mechanism or the thrill of the risk may be the means to euphoria.  They also seldom enjoy or fondly recall their past experiences; they may feel shame, regret, and depression – a “high” and “low” cycle that is common among addicts of all types and compels them to again seek the “high” to escape from negative emotions.
• Frequent isolation – People with sex addictions may spend noteworthy amounts of time alone in their rooms; they may stay up until early morning hours using the computer, or may quickly exit programs if someone walks into their office during work hours.
• Family background – Some research suggests that sex addicts often come from families in which one or more parent had a problem with either a substance or behavioral addiction.  Additionally, there is evidence that individuals raised in environments with rigid attitudes toward sexuality may develop skewed perceptions of its physical and emotional power that can lead to its abuse.  Moreover, children who have been sexually abused may develop inappropriate understandings of sexuality.  For example, these individuals may equate love and sex, have fears about sex, and/or think that sex is the main way to relate to other people.
• Justification – As with many other addicts, sex addicts often do not think about their behavior rationally and will have many excuses for behaving the way that they do.