The Top 10 Excuses for Avoiding Rehab

Addiction can turn a person into a master of manipulation; addicts know what they want, and they know how to get it. They also have learned how to justify their problem to themselves so that they can feel comfortable allowing addiction to continue to control their lives.  Below are the ten most common excuses that addicts will use when presented with the option of going to rehab.

1. “I don’t need rehab! I don’t have a problem.”

How you can respond

• Be honest – tell them you love them and that the substance or behavior has changed them from the person you once knew into a very different individual.
• Ask them if they would consider going as a favor to you because you care about them and are worried that they do have a problem.
• Read more strategies for responding to denial.
   

2. “I have too many things going on to take a break for a month or more! I can’t take off work for that long.”

How you can respond

• Mention that many addicts often lose their jobs because of their addictions.
• Emphasize that none of their other obligations are as important as their physical and mental health – not to mention the health of their relationships.

3. “Rehab is a waste of money that I don’t have.”

How you can respond

• Point out that a lot of money is being spent on the substance/behavior.
• Offer alternatives for paying for treatment.   

4. “I don’t want to be so far from my family and friends.” 

How you can respond

• Remind them that residential rehab stays are temporary and that phone calls and visits are sometimes allowed depending on the facility.
• Suggest that they consider an outpatient program if they are averse to leaving home.
• Tell them that their addiction is damaging their body and may lead to an early death, which is a permanent “leave of absence” from family and friends.  Some separation is healthy and necessary to avoid a much worse possibility.

5. “I don’t want to talk to strangers about my problems. (It’s embarrassing to admit that I don’t have control over the situation.)”

How you can respond

• Ask how it would be different from telling a doctor about an embarrassing physical problem.
• Explain that addiction professionals are there to help them, not judge them.  The people they encounter at rehab – both others going through the program and possibly even some running it – have personal experience with addiction.

6. “It won’t help. Nothing will help. I’m hopeless.”

How you can respond

• Point out that millions of people have benefited from treatment programs and are on the road to recovery.
• Tell them that you have confidence in their ability to overcome the addiction even if they don’t and that you will support them through the process.
• Remind them that the substance and low self-esteem have distorted their thinking and perception of themselves.

7. “No one can understand what I’ve been through – or what I’m going through.”

How you can respond

• Acknowledge that you will never be able to fully understand where they are coming from, but point out that that does not mean that you aren’t willing to try and that you can’t have some sympathy for them.
• Encourage them to attend a support group like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous to see that, although the exact circumstances vary, many addicts share similar backgrounds and fears.
• Describe the backgrounds of the staff at your preferred rehab location.  Many in addiction medicine are recovering addicts, family or recovering addicts, or extremely experienced in working with addicts.
• If you know that the person has been through some type of trauma and you have a similar experience in your past, ask them if they would like you to share your story and how you dealt with the resulting emotions.  Confiding in them could develop a more trusting relationship; be sure not to minimize the pain that the experience likely caused them.

8. “I can’t even think about trying to find a rehab facility on top of everything else I’m dealing with.”

How you can respond

• Sympathize with how overwhelming the prospect of researching rehabs can be.  Offer to help during the process.
• Ask what other aspects of the addict’s life are causing them stress, and offer to help with these if the addict will focus on finding an appropriate treatment option.

9. “I don’t want people to find out that I’m an addict. I could lose my job, and people wouldn’t respect me any more.”

How you can respond

• Inform them of the laws surrounding confidentiality for health care in general as well as the specific policies of the rehab that you are considering.
• Know the laws about employment and addiction in your state; an employer may not be able to fire an individual whose addiction has not been brought into the workplace.
• Admit that there are some individuals who retain social stigmas related to addicts and addiction, but that the attitudes of most Americans have changed for the better.  Also point out that a “recovering addict” is perceived in a much better light than is “an addict.”

10. “I don’t want to stop using.”

How you can respond

• Ask why they “don’t want to stop.” Many addicts use the addiction as a coping mechanism to numb the pain of a traumatic event in their past or a general feeling of depression.  Others may be afraid of withdrawal or being bored with life after experiencing the high that the substance or behavior gives them.
• Challenge them to stop for a week to see if it is indeed possible.

It is impossible to predict every response scenario when an addict is confronted about going to rehab.  However, if you are planning to arrange a Do-It-Yourself Intervention, it is especially important to have some idea how to respond if you encounter resistance (and you probably will).  You know your loved one best and may be able to anticipate other potential responses as well.